


A Hazard Of Hearts

by Skylar0Grace



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-08
Updated: 2011-05-08
Packaged: 2017-11-27 15:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar0Grace/pseuds/Skylar0Grace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate ending to 6x16 - Desperation Day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Hazard Of Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by [](http://homentheatre.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://homentheatre.livejournal.com/)**homentheatre**. Okay, so [](http://homentheatre.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://homentheatre.livejournal.com/)**homentheatre** made a request for a Barney/Lily fic and I've written it up for her but I have to say it was very hard! I don't generally write HIMYM nor do I have any experience with Barney/Lily but I was up for a challenge :) Still, this was the hardest time I've ever had writing something this... awkward :P Anyway, without further ado...

* * *

"You're doing this all wrong!"

Lily sighs and turns to one of her best friends. "Ted, there are couples in my kindergarten class who have moved faster than you do. Granted, their homes lives are not great."

"Hey, I'm trying!" he cut in, "I keep suggesting these big, romantic dates and she keeps putting on the brakes. Like tonight, she wants me to come over and just bake cookies."

Robin grins. "Ooh, translation: booty call!"

"Total booty call!" Barney agrees nodding.

Ted looks to her and she knows she's going to have to agree with the others. "Private Booty, reporting for duty."

"That's crazy, she wants to bake!"

She shakes her head at Ted. He's incredibly naive sometimes, in her opinion. Robin leans forward. "Guys booty call girls after 2am with a drunkenly slurred, "What's cha doin'?" But when a lady booty calls a guy, she invents a respectable excuse to mask the fact that she wants to get stuck real good - it's called _class_ Ted."

"Wait! You think that's what she means by 'baking cookies'?"

She nearly laughs to herself. "Are you kidding? You're in the kitchen, it's getting hot, you start licking things off each others’ fingers..." Her imagination runs away with her slightly, "before you know it, she's bent over the marble island and you're spanking her with a rubber spatula and she's screaming, "Stop Marshall, stop!" but that's just code for 'harder'!"

Well, maybe not so much 'imagination' as 'memory'.

"Marshall's been in Minnesota a while, huh?" Ted asks uncomfortably.

"So long and now he's staying even longer. His mum has been having a really hard time since the funeral and he's waiting on her hand and foot but it's Valentine's Day and it's not gonna be the same without the two of us watching 'Predator' together."

It was a stupid tradition really. They'd accidently watched 'Predator' instead of 'Sleepless In Seattle' for their first Valentine's Day together and on the second, it seemed like a good idea to poke fun at the previous year. But when the third rolled around, it just felt wrong to watch something sappy.

"Wow, you sound really lonely."

Lily almost raises her eyebrows at the sincerity in Barney's voice.

"I am. Earlier today, I burst into tears..."

"Shh! Daddy's talking!"

And just like that it is gone. Barney rambles on about his pre-Valentine's Day holiday, 'Desperation Day' but she's heard it many times before and she tunes out. She _is_ lonely without Marshall, truth be told, and she is aware that something is missing. Ted and Robin disappear not long after and she watches as Barney surveys the late crowd, occasionally throwing out sultry looks or winks. Despite that, he still listens to her ramble on about missing Marshall without much of a fight. She's reminded once more about the kind and caring Barney buried underneath the crude and uncaring outer shell. He doesn't show it often, more since Robyn, but still not often enough that he gives it away and blows his cover. After all, it'd be too easy to have his heart broken again if he did.

She knows the minute there's a tear running down her face, and it's not because she can feel the wet, salty path it leaves behind. It's the sudden change of his facial expression and she drops her eyes and fumbles quickly to wipe it away to save them both the awkwardness.

Barney stands though and nods to the door. "Should probably get you home. It's getting late, don'tcha reckon?"

She offers him a small grateful smile for ignoring her tear and follows him out of the pub. He calls for a taxi and the car pulls up almost before she can blink. He opens the door for her and places a hand on the small of her back to guide her in.

But it's that hand that holds her back and has her looking up into his face. For a moment there's a small frown flitting across his face, like he's not sure, but he leans forward achingly slow giving her ample time to back out. She's not sure why she does it and hindsight, being the wonderful thing it is, proves just how stupid the very notion is but she puts it down to seeing the nicer side of him that evening, even if it was in glimpses. Or maybe it's that she's had a little too much to drink, or that she really is desperately lonely and just needing _something_. Her lips press against his and she's surprised at how tentative the kiss is. Someone like Barney - well, she expected something very different. It's almost like he's aware of the invisible line they've just crossed.

It was just supposed to be one short kiss but it seems as if the floodgates are opened and she leans into him further, asking for more. At first there's a minor, almost unnoticeable reluctance but that's soon gone as it become all tongues and hands and fingers digging into flesh. She pulls him backward into the cab and quickly barks out her address, throwing the crumpled up bills that she had waiting in her hand. The door is barely closed before the cab leaves but she doesn't notice. She doesn't think about where they are or where they're going or anything outside of the moment they're in. _All_ she's thinking about is the moment they're in - consequences be damned.

She doesn't remember the cab stopping outside or the walk up to the door but all too soon, the door to her place is pressing against her back and she can't get it open fast enough. There's another brief pause just after the door closes and he pulls back to look at her; his eyes searching hers. But the vulnerability she can see just under the surface is enough for her to pull his body quickly back to hers as she backs them both into the bedroom.

She steps into the cold spray later and her body shivers against the temperature. She hasn't reached for the hot tap. She doesn't deserve the hot tap. She probably just ruined her marriage and her friendship and all she can do is just let the water run over her as the tears slip down her face and the guilt racks her body.

She's broken the rules of friendship and, more importantly, the vows she made on her wedding day to the man she said she'd love forever. Not that she's stopped loving him but she wonders how much longer he's going to love her once he finds out. And she'll have to tell him because she's no good at keeping secrets and, even if she was, she can't live her life knowing that there's something between them in their marriage.

When she gingerly steps out of the shower, she listens for a noise outside the bathroom. There's nothing but silence and she wonders whether or not Barney has stuck around to talk about what happened. In all honesty, she'd prefer it if he didn't. There's only so much she can handle at once, only so much she can take, and she needs to deal with one crisis at a time.

The bedroom is empty when she walks back in, wrapped in a towel, and she walks out into the lounge room expecting him to still be there and she lets out a relieved breath when he's not. The haphazardly strewn clothes have all been picked up from the trail they'd previously led into the bedroom and even her clothes have been pulled neatly into a pile sitting on top of the arm of the lounge.


End file.
